one!
[warded private]
Don't know which I dislike more, nightmares or wonky, surreal dreams that are unsettling, but not scary, and that I can't decipher for the life of me. Maddening. Can't even really remember it, let alone make any proper sense of it, and both facts are driving me up the wall.

I vaguely remember a walrus, but that's about as significant as "koo koo kachoo."
[/private]

I like how it's suddenly my fault that we're out of the latest in whatever ridiculous, Fifi LaFolle knock-off series you're so enamoured with, Cranky Customer #17. I don't order the books; I just work here. Maybe you could try, I don't know, being nicer?

I need a nap.

[warded private; added later]
Well done, Justin. Simply brilliant job you did there. That wasn't ridiculously embarrassing in the slightest. And of course you didn't sound like a moralistic, patronising arse. Not you, not at all.

Honestly.
[/private]